Just Put Pants On!- Executive Function Dysfunction Diaries #3
and other funny but true tips to activate your ADHD brain and get sh%$ done!
One of the best things about being a therapist who specializes in ADHD and an ADHD Coach is that I am also a human with ADHD that needs some fresh ideas now and again.
When I tell my support groups, clients, and workshop attendees that I learn from THEM every day, I seriously mean it! I too need novelty in my routine so that my executive functioning skills…function.
One of the number one sticking points that push my clients to call me and start coaching or therapy is struggling with what those of us in the biz like to call “task initiation or activation.” What that really means is getting started on a task. Yes, often the hardest tasks to get started on are mundane and boring…
For me that is laundry, it is always laundry!
Another huge Executive Functioning frustration for my clients (and me from time to time) is there may be a task that we really, really want, yet find overwhelming for a myriad of reasons. Yes, even starting those tasks that we completely understand the importance of can be tough!!!
In working with those who struggle with executive functioning skills for almost 25 years I have collected some amazing tips along the way. Some will make you giggle, but all have been Franki Bagdade Therapy or FAAB ADHD Coaching tested and approved!
Now remember all people are different and therefore all people WITH Executive Functioning Challenges are different so it may take a few tries to see which technique is the best fit for your unique brain.
An object in motion stays in motion-
Once you have left the house, to drop a kid off at school, or take something to the post office… stay out and do those errands you’ve been avoiding. You may want to consider grabbing your laptop on the way out the door to drop off the kids. Then you can pick a favorite coffee shop and do the things that you haven’t been able to do with the distractions of home.
I recently realized that even though I have a whole office set up both at my house and at my office, certain open-ended tasks won’t get done at home. Therefore on oddball days like today when I have an in-person client at 9 am and not another one until 3:00 pm I elect to stay in my office and get tons of writing done instead of going home in the middle and spending most of the day walking from room to room in my house trying to figure out where I left my coffee and petting my dog, #IYKYK
Similarly, many of my clients struggle to get the work done that they keep lugging back and forth from the office to their homes. They have the best intentions of revisiting these tasks after dinner or on the weekend but once they come home and their brain flips to “non-work mode” they can’t seem to toggle that switch back. Instead, many of us with executive functioning challenges are more successful staying an extra hour from time to time at the office than trying to get back into work mode after they’ve changed into their sweatpants at home.
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Don’t sit back down!
I noticed lately that my brain “ADHD coached” itself and I had devised a clever way to get through my morning routine faster. My main barrier was that when I’m sitting on my comfy couch, sipping coffee watching the Today show the idea of getting up to do ANYTHING at all sounds terrible! However, if my dog starts barking like crazy at the sliding door I get up pretty quickly to let him out so he doesn’t go to the bathroom on my floor. Talk about motivation! I noticed that once I’m already up, I don’t sit back down!! Instead, I use the opportunity of already being on my feet and do at least one thing in my morning routine. On days when I start work later and see clients in the evening, I may go sit back down on the couch after that one task is done. However, most of the time once I’m up and I’ve started getting ready for my day (staring is the hardest remember) I’m content to turn on my show on the bedroom TV and finish getting ready instead of losing track of time on my couch. See “an object in motion stays in motion” above!
When I explain this to my clients I use the metaphor of a computer “booting up.” Most of us don’t habitually shut down our computers at the end of the day, rather we put them on “stand-by”. Why? Because starting up a computer that is completely shut down takes a long time! Those of us with ADHD are similar to a computer. “Rebooting” us again after completely shutting down ie. talking ourselves into getting up and going with the work day after returning to our couch and a cozy blanket… takes too long! So we are better off taking breaks when needed but staying "on stand-by mode,” until our tasks for the day are completed.
Keep those work clothes on
I once had a client tell me that the only way they can get dinner in the oven after a long day at work is to walk in the door and keep their shoes on. Once they’ve prepped dinner and thrown it in the oven, they can take those shoes off. The theory behind this is that once the shoes go off a signal is sent to our brains that we can relax now. If you are a “no shoe” household you can cue your brain similarly by waiting to change into your “evening sweats” until you’ve started dinner or checked in with the kids about their day and their homework.
Just put pants on
I have worked with many clients who have more days off than their partners or are the primary homemakers. Often because their schedules include more “off” time they end up procrastinating and feeling like they waste the whole day and get none of the chores done. I had a client tell me that the best trick they’ve come up with is on a day in which he has a lot of home projects to get to he wakes up and puts on jeans. This way he feels like he is “dressed” for a day of “work” instead of his typical sweats that are more geared towards a day of Netflix.
I use this concept on days that I am meeting with clients via Zoom or teaching a workshop remotely and my energy level is low. Instead of doing my typical “Zoom look” of business on the top and PJ pants on the bottom, I dress as if I’m going to the office to signal my brain to WAKE UP and get to work!
Habit Stacking
This is a great technique where you take an already existing positive habit and add another one to it that you’d like to incorporate. For example every morning I make a cup of coffee and with that first sip, I take my medicine. This way I very seldom forget to take my medication. I also back it up with an alarm that goes off every morning right before I leave the house so I can check my old lady's “days of the week pill organizer *” and double-check that I took my meds! My coffee is very sacred to me, therefore I am extremely motivated to make it and drink it so I will never forget it. Therefore “making coffee” is the perfect habit to stack other behaviors too, such as taking my medicine.
This is my favorite coffee maker *that I’ve ever owned and it’s lasted forever. It makes one cup of coffee quickly so I don’t have to wait too much for that first glorious sip!
Schedule it
When my clients share with me that they are having trouble getting a task done without a definitive due date, I ask them how they remember to get to their appointments or get projects done for work. Typically they are using some sort of calendar. In keeping with the theme above of building on an already established habit, I suggest they look through the week ahead and carve out some time to schedule the open-ended tasks.
Here is an example of “time blocking” a day off in a digital calendar. In this example, the “inside the house tasks” vs the “out of the house tasks” are color-coded. You may notice that relaxation is scheduled too. This allows for some guilt-free chill time because it’s blocked out ahead of time.
If you use Google Calendar play around with creating “tasks” instead of events for your to-do list. Check out #2 in this article.
Break it down
Sometimes just blocking out the time is not enough for some of us to dive in and get started. Through some exploration, I realize that often the task itself feels too big or that they don’t know HOW to get started. First I ask my client what the end result should be ie. their email inbox is empty and all of the important emails that need to be kept are in folders. Then I ask them what materials they would need to get started. In this case, a charged or plugged-in computer and maybe a quiet distraction-free space. (See #1 above, maybe leaving the house and doing this in a coffee shop would be more successful.) Then I ask what decision they would need to make first. An example of the first step could be deciding if they should print emails and file them in old-fashioned paper files. Maybe they want to start by deleting as many emails as they can. Maybe they want to start by coming up with a handful of categories and making those folders. We repeat this until we have a list of steps for the bigger project and can make a list.
At first, it may be confusing to determine in what order to do the steps. In this case, write each step on a different post-it note and you can experiment with moving them around until the order feels right to you!
I use these smaller rectangular Post-it notes or these colorful little square Post-its * the perfect size for a task for this strategy, and “house” the sorted lists in a lay flat notebook*.
Schedule it- advanced
When I have a really big project such as writing a new workshop which includes research, creating a slide deck, and many other pieces. Simply scheduling work time to do the things, is not quite enough to get me started and reduce the overwhelm! Instead, I like to break it down so that certain tasks are scheduled at certain times. This helps me map out each step and ensure that I leave enough time for everything to be completed before the workshop is presented.
I prefer to do my initial scheduling of a large task by hand and on something big! I’m a visual person and this helps me “see” the timing of it all. When I have more than one big project to work on, I’ll map out when I should start each one on my huge 12-month wipe-off wall calendar.* Then if it’s a particularly difficult task for me to wrap my head around or one that I would work on for multiple weeks I may map it out on my month-at-a-glance dry-erase board*.
For shorter projects or the final touches - I use the days of the week dry-erase board *you see here- already filled in for a big upcoming project. I then block out the exact work “hours” in my handy dandy Google calendar. If this sounds just bananas to you, that’s ok! It may not be your thing. I have found it helpful for other visual planners like myself. Sometimes the act of getting out of my chair and away from the keyboard and spreading out on my rug with my colorful dry-erase markers mixes things up enough for me to recharge and make some decisions!
Pair an “ugh” task with something you enjoy!
Pick a TV or Movie series or movie to binge but only watch it when you are folding laundry
Listen to a new Spotify playlist while you clean the kitchen
Go to a coffee house to do some boring paperwork and treat yourself to a yummy cup of coffee and a muffin bigger than your head!
Storytime! One music-loving & bathroom cleaning-hating client of mine loved the idea of a playlist of all 5-ish to 6-ish minutes and longer songs. Then he could challenge himself to see how much cleaning he could do before one song ended. We had so much fun researching this and included the greats like Bohemian Rhapsody, Nights In White Satin, Smells Like Teen Spirit, Wanted Dead or Alive, My Sharona, Rocket Man, Somebody to Love, Light My Fire… can you think of more?
Enjoy my playlist here- Long A** Songs to Get All The Things Done on Spotify
Watch my reel showcasing this strategy!
Remember- “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over the same way and expecting a different result.”
Don’t stubbornly cling to the same strategy if it’s not working. You don’t need to work harder, you may need to work smarter. So try something new! Sometimes a new technique becomes old and boring and our sensitive ADHD brains stop finding it motivating. So try something new AND when that new thing feels less new you may be able to implement the old strategy again. Having a small bag of tricks will up your odds of success.
What do YOU think? Would any of these work for you? Did I miss any great strategies or tips? Let me know in the comments or email me franki@frankibagdade.com
Enjoy more Executive Functioning tips and tricks in the “Executive Function Dysfunction Diaries” section of my Substack Blog!
Executive Function Dysfunction Diaries #1- Hate Exercise? Move Your Body Instead!
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