My favs AND a crowdsourced epic list of tips to conquer the morning madness!
10 Must Try Morning Rush Tips Crowdsourced from 25 Years of Working with Frustrated Parents and From My Own "Momming Career"!
I am a Mom. A Mom with ADHD. A Mom currently wearing her “writer’s hat” trying to get my cacophony of thoughts swirling around in my big noggin down into useable advice. While I attempt this I am distracted by old memories of morning scenes with my own 3 monkeys. Some are adorable, many not so much!
Some of these memories are not my proudest moments and include yelling, begging, and bribing and children still missing the bus. Some of these memories (in the more recent months) are of my teens yelling at me to get ready faster as I struggle to finish my to-dos quickly.
The morning rush as I like to call it is a universal parenting struggle. A tale is as old as time. I can picture and hear parents across the world yelling in their native languages and then see the guilt on all of their faces! All of us are united in the same goal to get our kids to school (and out of our hair) on time and get ourselves to our next step in the day. Many of us are left feeling guilty that our kids’ days started with arguing.
Add an ADHD child or teen or 2 or 3 and maybe an ADHD parent or 2 and we take an already tough task and make it reach new levels of suckiness.
But wait (read this line in your best Made for TV Infomercial Voice)… there is hope!
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Top Ten FAAB Morning Routine Tips for Parents
Parent Countdown- Continually share with your kids how much time they have left before it’s time to get out the door. One parent shared that it works best when she starts the countdown an hour before they have to leave the house. She gives them reminders at regular intervals of 10 or 15 minutes.
Visual Timers- Have little ones, or kids without a strong concept of time (time blindness is common with ADHDr’s ) use a visual timer instead of a verbal reminder. Bonus- Some kids & teens may find that this feels less “naggy”. Also as your child gets older and learns to accommodate themselves they can use these timers independently.
My absolute favorite brand of visual timers that I have used in the classroom, my home, my own office while writing and my therapy office is Time Timer.* These timers hold up! They also have an option to use the visual and auditory (sound) timer function or turn the sound off. This is great if you have a kid who hates the sound of a timer or are a Mom in your late 40s who jumps every time a timer goes off like me!
Watch this reel where I share my favorite ways to use visual timers.
Want some other creative options for visual timers? Here are my favorite visual timers available on Amazon* My Amazon Favorite Timers shopping list has so many options! Some timers change from green to yellow to red as time runs out, some are animal-themed, and I even include a set of sand timers which are favorites in my therapy office!
Watches- One savvy Mom recently explained to me why she gifted her tweens Apple watches. She pre-set all kinds of alerts on them, so that their wrist vibrates giving them a ten-minute warning before they should be done getting dressed, have their teeth brushed, and get on the bus! (I’m not going to lie, I found myself thinking this may be helpful for me in the am!) She goes on to explain how this drastically reduced the morning yelling!
Bonus idea- Many smartwatches can also sync up with Apple and Google calendars. Another savvy parent recently shared that she created a shared family calendar including daily schedules and alerts. Her tweens loved knowing the schedule ahead of time including when Mom and Dad would be out and they would be with babysitters. This gave the tweens the added responsibility of following the “prompts” that the watch gives them.
If an Apple Watch is out of your budget try this, Amazfit watch- on sale at Best Buy *
Have younger kids who don’t need a “smartwatch” but could use the timer functionality? Try the time timer- visual timer watch *. Or these adorable Preschool Collection Digital Watches * with alarm capabilities.
Want to try something out that has the smartwatch “look” but is less pricey? This Digital Watch and Fitness Tracker * will be a great starter watch to try this strategy and has the look of the more expensive smartwatches.
Check Lists: Even if you think your kids/teens already know what they SHOULD be doing a checklist can keep them on task and keep them MOVING through the list so they get those dang shoes on before time runs out! There are several ways to create a checklist. I recommend involving your kid no matter what age in creating the steps. Also ask them if it feels satisfying to cross out, or even erase the steps as they finish them!
You can type this list up or your artists can take out a piece of paper and markers and create a masterpiece checklist. If your child is a non-reader, make it visual!
Whichever format you choose, don’t forget to put it in one of these wipable sleeves and use it over and over again with a dry-erase marker. Or put your list in an acrylic frame * and use a dry-erase marker to cross the steps off as they move through their routine.
Watch this Tik Tok to see how I use acrylic frames for check lists in my own home!
Some kids and teens love to physically move a task from the “to-do” column to the “done” column. I love these customized visual task boards from Love it Labels by Sara. Bonus-buy from Sara and support a mom-owned business!
Does your morning routine vary a bit on certain days? Try grabbing a big whiteboard and simply list out the tasks for the morning, allowing the kids to cross them out or erase them as they are completed. Here is a similar whiteboard * to the one I use daily in my therapy office.
Don’t Yell (Do your best!!)- OK stop rolling your eyes at me. I’m the first to admit that I am 100% human and I certainly yell at my kids. One smart parent recently reminded me how yelling in the morning can actually slow some kids down. Now I’m not saying that keeping your cool in the morning with a child who is moving at a sloth’s pace is an easy goal. It is not. So do what you have to do to find a little bit of peace in the morning. Buy good coffee, wake up before the kids for ten minutes of quiet if feasible…. Take deep breaths and don’t try to make yourself all chipper and cheery if that is not YOU. Instead just focus on having a neutral tone. Yes, this truly can make all the difference. Don’t believe me? Try it and let me know what you think!
Give Your Child Something to Look Forward To- Maybe you have a child with some school anxiety, or who struggles with waking up in the morning. Try allowing a special show that they only get to watch in the morning. Bonus- some kids with ADHD struggle to stay in one place long enough to eat and go through their morning routines, a little bit of TV or Tech may help with this. Yes, I’m a parenting “expert” (I hate that term…), and yes I’m recommending some screen time. Now if your kids’ biggest struggle is transitioning away from screens, this wouldn’t be the technique for you.
One savvy parent shared with me that she started to build a collection of fast-playing board games. If her youngest finished his morning routine quickly they had 15 minutes to play a round of Uno or similar each morning just the two of them, since the older two were already at school! Instead of the morning being a dreaded time it turned into a special time for both of them.
Another ritual you could try is a soothing warm drink. I know personally that the smell of my coffee brewing and that first sip is irreplaceable for me! How about a warm cup of hot chocolate in a grown-up mug, a treat only for before school?
Create a Little Motivation- If you have all of the support in place that’s needed, ie. strategies including lists, counting down, or whatever your child may need to be successful- then consider a little motivator. Ok by motivator, I mean a reward, for getting ready in a timely way. (I mention that the support has to be in place first because we don’t want to unfairly frustrate our kids with ADHD who don’t necessarily need to “try harder” to be ready on time but may need more or different supports. ) This could be anything that motivates your child.
Here are some ideas: If your tween is in the car ready to go by 8:05 they get to be the “car DJ” on the way to school. If your child makes it on the bus, they get a star and after 5 stars you go out for ice cream. If they finish their morning routine early they get to play cards with mom- see tip number 6 above.
What have you tried to motivate your child in the morning? Share in the comments!
Transition Tradition-For some anxious kids/teens going to school is really difficult even if they know in their rational brain that they like school the transition itself can be daunting. Work with your child to come up with a comforting tradition. I love the idea of creating a secret phrase that you use with them that isn’t embarrassing in front of peers such as “I’m going to the store to buy bananas and I will have them for you after school.” Translated this phrase means- “I love you so much and I’ll be at home waiting for you after school,” however know one else knows this but the two of you!
Other ideas: a secret handshake at drop off, putting on matching bracelets to keep you connected during the day, a little magic including a wand of course, and a “confidence spell” you create together, try a moment of mindfulness practiced together, a special “let’s get pumped” morning playlist, or try picking a mantra to say out loud such as- “This is hard AND I can do hard things.”
Ask the kids! Maybe the best answer for your household is to do nothing except schedule a meeting with your child. Share your frustrations and your goal to do better ie. stop yelling.
Ask your child to brainstorm ideas with you. You can certainly share your ideas too!
Watch this reel that includes a short clip from my WWJ 950 interview where I talk about collaborating with our kids when things are not going so well!
Grab a free trial membership for Kindle Unlimited and download my book, “I Love My Kids But I Don’t Always Like Them!” for FREE!!! Chapter Six is all about the Parent-Child Meeting. You don’t have to own a kindle to read books, instead you can download the free Kindle app on any device.
Allow Different Kids to Do Things Differently- One of the biggest positive changes I saw in my crazy mornings with three kids happened when I realized that my 3 kids needed different morning routines. Wait!! Don’t close the computer, hear me out. No, it’s not easy to accomplish this AND yes it may be the only way to have a little peace in the house. It could just be one small thing. A perfect example in my house is that my oldest needed to get up and get dressed before she came downstairs or we would never make it out of the house at all! My youngest bounces out of bed quickly and eats quickly so he can get dressed as his last step. They can both use checklists or timers- just tweak them for individual strengths and weaknesses.
If you have taken advantage of the Kindle Unlimited Free Trial and downloaded my book “I Love My Kids But I Don’t Always Like Them!” for FREE!!! Check out chapter Eight which is all about the Parenting Different Kids Differently. You don’t have to own a kindle to read books, instead you can download the free Kindle app on any device.
Keep Trying New Things and If YOU Behave in a Way You Don’t Like- APOLOGIZE- So what if you give it a good try and yell anyway? First, forgive yourself for being human, and then apologize! Even if in the time crunch it doesn’t happen in the morning talk to them after school. Apologizing and explaining to your child that you are working on controlling your frustration is excellent modeling!
Watch this reel with a short clip from my radio interview on 950 News Radio Detroit about how and why I apologize to my kids frequently!
So what do you think? Which idea will you try this week? Any tips, tricks or strategies that I missed? Comment with your ideas below or email me- franki@frankibagdade.com I am constantly updating my crowd sourced pieces and would love to share your #parentingwins
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